Your're 2 years and 9 months and forever my little man

 Hey Buddy! I can't believe how much older you are since my last post! You are an amazing little man with quite an amazing life ahead of you. I have always used the word 'passionate' to describe you and it is becoming more and more true as you get older. You are a ball of energy and full of joy and you can turn that joy on a dime and be completely devastated. You feel deeply and I feel so bad for you sometimes because you don't have the words you need to tell me what's wrong. Don't get me wrong, you have an AMAZING vocabulary and a great grasp of how to use it for your age (you impress many!) but you feel so strongly sometimes that I wish you could put some of it into words. But what am I saying? I can't even do that sometimes :)

 In the past few weeks, you've taken to coming into my room at night (for many reasons) but you love to 'lay in bed for a little while'. I let you crawl up in the bed and cover you all nice and cozy with me and daddy and you fall asleep immediately. I know it's best for you to go back to your room but many times I toy with the idea of letting you stay the night. After I mull it over for a while I slide out of bed and scoop you up and put you pack in your snug little bed. I love to hear you breathe and see that sweet peaceful face. You are a blessing to me from God and I hope you never forget it. I love you passionately and whole heartedly with a love that is exclusively yours.

 I'm so thankful for you sweet Jacob and I'm proud of the person you are becoming. You are going to be a game changer in this world. Sleep tight my little man.

Hey buddy! This is a video of you on your first birthday! Sorry it took me so long to post it!
I love You!!!!!!!!

Little Handsome:)

Hey Buddy, I can't believe you're turning 1 next week! You have changed so much lately and I'm sad that you aren't a baby any more but you are officially a big boy and you can hold your own with any kid that comes around. You are walking and chattering constantly, you want to be outside 24/7 and when that isn't an option you make sure everyone w/ in a few miles knows how you feel about it. You are still a very passionate little man but you are much more content to hang out with sister instead of being held all the time (now I can make you lunch with out you eating right from hands as I make it) :) You are a joy to so many with your huge toothy grin and your laugh that comes from the deepest part of you. Yesterday we were at Target and a sweet lady saw you smiling and waving and she came over to see you and she said that you were exactly what she needed that day because her day wasn't great. I love you sweet bean and I'm proud to be your mommy and I know a daddy and a sister who are very proud to be yours too. We really have it good:)

Poor, poor Beany!

I wrote that title because as I was thinking of what the title should be, all that came to my mind are the ridiculous songs your dad and I are always singing to you. Ok, its mostly me and I embarrass your dad too. Any way, right now you are cutting one of your top teeth... I feel so sorry for you! It seems like it hurts you to have a passy, eat food, whatever. You just seem pitiful and that isn't like my little man. I want to make it all better for you so bad! Tonight Mimi and Poppy came over for dinner and before they could even sit down you were screaming. I know now that it was because of your teeth, so I scooped you up and we went upstairs to calm down, take some Tylenol and read some books. It was in this moment that I realized how much you LOVE books. Usually in the course of the day I'll get a moment here or there to read you a few parts of a book but usually it is you, Zaya and me all piled up together and in those moments you just want to jump on her and make her scream. Anyway, tonight you were pointing at pictures, which I think is way advances for your age, but it was just so precious to see this sweet, chubby little finger reach out and deliberately touch different pictures on the page. So every thing you touched I would tell you what it was and the sound it made, what letter it started with and so on until you touched another picture. It was a sweet time with you and I loved it and I hope to remember it forever... this blog may help with that! I hope we get to have more quiet discovery times together because you want to know a lot of things and there are a lot of things I want to show you. Sleep tight my little Bean and I can't wait to pick up my smiling boy in the morning. You bring your dad and I SO much joy! I love you.

So many milestones, so little time!

Hey Buddy,
I love you, I love you, I love you. I figure that is a good way to start and its the way I start most of my days! I haven't written to you in almost 2 months and you are already a completely different little guy. Ok, about 2 months you started scooting around (you were five and half months old!) and you were off! Since then you are now crawling like a wild man, I can't keep up with you! You cut your first two teeth in the same day on October 23rd and you look SO precious now when you laugh and smile... and even when you cry. You are eating table food and you don't want anything else, seriously. A couple weeks ago we were at the Smiths and you had eaten some peas and I had mixed some sweet potato in it and you had eaten every bit. So then the 'adults' sat down to eat chili and you were getting SO mad because you wanted my food (this is fairly typical at meal times). As a good strict mother I should have let you fuss and not rewarded the behavior, but I gave in (which I do regularly) and I fed you chili. Chili, to a 7 1/2 month old! I was kind of nervous after the fact because I didn't want your tummy to hurt but you did fine and you were much happier:)

Now that you can crawl you are quite aggressor to your big (non-aggressive sis). Whenever you see a toy flying through the air in her hand, you must have it and you attack her and crawl all over her while she is squealing for help. I love it that you're mobile and that you can get things and it makes you so happy but dang, your poor sis doesn't know whats hit her. Y'all are really cute together. She loves you so much and loves to make you laugh. The first thing she asks in the morning is, 'Where's Bean (or brudder)?' She LOVES running in to wake you in the morning or from nap... I think she's bored when you aren't around:) I know that y'all will have your moments and you will think she doesn't like you or you may not be too fond of her at any given moment but always remember that y'all are a team and when it seems like no one has your back, you always have each other. I think that God gave us siblings because we need to learn how to relate with our 'peer group' and learn to be a blessing and an encourager even when we know ALL of the other persons faults. You are a strong man and although Zaya is your big sister, God still wants you to protect her and look out for her. You two need each other, just like Daddy and I need each of you and you need us. I love you precious one and one day when you're reading this you probably won't be getting a million kisses from each moment like you do now, but always know that your mommy loves you more than words can express and with all my heart I want to be the best mom in the world for you and Zaya. What stuns me even now is that God loves you even more... it doesn't feel possible:) I love you, my little man.

I'll post some pics of your teeth and you crawling around soon:)

I pretty much love everything about you:)

Hey Buddy,
Right now you're sleeping away but I'm thinking about how much I want to grab you out of bed and watch your sweet face as you sleep. I sneak into your room almost every night before I go to bed to watch you sleep. You are an amazing creature. Tonight you cried for a while before falling asleep and it is SO hard for me to hear you cry because you sound so desperate and it makes me sad that I can't make you happy. I mean, I try to pick you up and rock you but you just get even more irate! Gigi says you have a temper but I like to say that you're passionate:) I know you are/will be a man of passion because God chose you to be here, now for a reason and you will need passion for God and the things of the kingdom to go after your destiny. So keep up the passionate screaming my little one because one day that same passion will be used by God to lead you forward into great things!

This past week you have really started moving around... its so cute. When you first started scooting you could only go backwards but you have mastered forward motion at this point:) Today especially you have really begun to get up on your knees and move... i really think you're amazing. I believe your main desire for crawling is that you don't like being left behind and mobility is the only way to insure that it won't happen. If I leave the room for a moment to get Zaya some juice and she comes w/ me, you LOSE IT. I mean, passion pouring down your cheeks:) At first I thought you had really bad separation anxiety but I think you really just don't want to be left out and you want to keep up with your sis. Soon enough, my love, soon enough:) Just so you know, your sister LOVES you. When ever you read this I don't know what your relationship with her will look like but I hope it is similar to now. She will walk up to you and so gently rub your head and in a high voice say, "Hey Bean", and then she'll give you a kiss. Its adorable... you are loved. Oh and you love her something crazy too. No one can make you laugh like she does and when she is in the room you love watching all that she is doing... you're going to learn a lot from her!

Well, its off to bed for me little man. I will see you very soon... I can't wait!

Little Bean

Hey Buddy, you're napping right now and its 1pm on Sept 13th. You will be 6 months here in a few days and I can't believe how big you already are! You are over 20lbs and scooting all over the floor! You steal my heart with every smile and I love our alone times together... its rare that we get it. Today I'm just hanging out with you, Zaya and your daddy and we're enjoying a lazy Saturday. This morning I went into your room when I heard you rolling around and playing and when I walked in you gave me a HUGE open mouth smile (which is your BIG smile) and my heart melted and I just had to hold you SO close to me. I was hoping all the love in my heart would just pour over into you my sweet Bean.


You have already accomplished so much in your few months on this planet. You are eating 'solids' in mass quantity and I can't seem to keep you full! Anytime you see food or someone eating you just open your mouth as big as you can hoping that something will fly by and fall in:) You love to scoot along on the floor and get up on all fours and rock back and forth... its amazing how you can get around. I have a feeling you'll be crawling pretty soon here:) I'm proud of your many accomplishments! You have a sweet personality and you love to smile and laugh... usually at your sister.


Yesterday we went to let Zaya play with some pals and there was a little girl your age there and y'all had a big time... you have a friend:) Y'all will get to play a lot more this next year!


Well, know that I love you little man and I'll write you again soon. I hope these notes always remind you of how much your mommy loves you.